Bingung dengan kondisi gw.

Adrian69

> @raktom menulis:
> oke, akhirnya kembali online, karena sibuk kerja.
>
> Intinya, di NZ aturan tinggal berbeda dengan USA.
> Kamu menikah, belum tentu dapat residence visa.
> Kamu musti tinggal 12 bulan+ untuk dapat residence visa.
> Kita sudah kenal selama 2 tahun, Dan kita cuman tinggal 10 bulan bareng dan pisah2an karena dia lebih nyaman tinggal di USA.
>
Ummmm 12+ bulan apa harus 100% tinggal bareng? Not sure NZ apply the requirement tapi sepertinya tidak.
https://www.immigration.govt.nz/knowledgebase/kb-question/kb-question-1105
https://www.immigration.govt.nz/new-zealand-visas/apply-for-a-visa/about-visa/special-work-visa-for-partners-of-new-zealand-citizens-or-residence-class-visa-holders
https://www.immigration.govt.nz/new-zealand-visas/apply-for-a-visa/about-visa/partnership-resident-visa

BTW - kamu sama dia sudah menikah, in a legal domestic partnership, atau cuma living together as a couple?
Wasn't he supposedly sponsoring your visa application, whichever type of relationship it is?


> Partner gw, citizen of NZ dan Permanent residence of USA.
> Dia pindah ke USA karena punya rumah dan mungkin dapat benefit dari USA.
> Tapi, gw gak tahu dia cukup secara finance untuk suport gw ke Amerika, karena dia musti buktiin punya penghasilan minimal 20,000$/tahun atau aset 100,000+$
>
Oh Honey..... Can't meet minimum $20,000 yearly??? Really? What does he do here?
Di sini kamu bekerja full time as grocery store cashier saja sudah bisa dapet $18,000 yearly.


> Gw akhirnya cukup mengerti kalau tinggal di NZ kurang bagus untuk kita,
> karena standard hidup partner gw menurun di NZ, gak punya rumah dan gak bisa dapat benefit.
> Dan hidup musti mengejar kondisi yang lebih baik.
>
Kurang bagus untuk kita.... maksudnya dibanding di Indo? Apa karena segala serba mahal di NZ? Isn't that to be expected?
Salah satu daya tarik untuk datang ke Indo dan negara2 Asia lainnya, adalah karena segala serba murah dibanding di developed countries.
Makanya suka sebel kalau lihat bule2 sok petantang petenteng kalau di Indo atau Thailand. Padahal paling di negara asalnya cuma tukang sampah doang.

And - wait a minute - kamu bilang dia punya rumah di sini di US tapi nggak bisa punya rumah di NZ??? WTF??? Di US rata2 harga rumah lebih mahal dari NZ!

Kalau kamu sudah di sana dengan work visa - kamu harus bisa ikut standard local dong, dan harus dapet gaji sama dengan orang2 local.
If I were you, I'll try as much as I could to struggle and survive, dan hoping to meet someone better kalau yang ini tidak bisa diharapkan.
You should be fine to live and survive by yourself selama kamu punya legal work visa.

> Dan gw gak tahu dengan administrasi Trump.
> Dan butuh waktu 2 tahun sekarang karena visa partnership untuk PR USA pakai sistem quota.
>
Sadly speaking yes. Up to two years tapi di sini yang processnya lama up to two years biasanya spouses dari China, India and perhaps Philippines.
Kalau dari outside of those countries like NZ lebih tinggi chance untuk bisa diprocess faster.


> Kadang gw pikir mau apply buat refugee di NZ, tapi gak tahu sukses atau tidak.
>
Please don't. Kamu sudah punya work visa - switching ke refugee visa highly likely akan create issue.
Mereka akan curiga bahwa kamu sengaja go this way supaya bisa tinggal lebih lama, dan akan scrutinize about your relationship yang memberi work visa.

raktom

Well, untuk partnership visa untuk residence visa NZ.
Gw juga masih bingung, beberapa minggu kedepan, gw bakal ngobrol ke lawyer.

Peraturan untuk lodge visa NZ sekarang semua lewat online, lodge visa kerja bisa lodge sendiri.
lodge visa partnership, bisa lodge sendiri, tinggal scan dokumen saja.

------------------
Well, my partner is retirement, he choose not to work because he is financially able to not working for years.
He told me that he will work as Uber driver and will give all of his asset information to US immigration when we get notification of Affordafit of Support.

He told me that he will work as UBER for fun while waiting for me.

------------------------
NZ has changed a lot in 20 years, the NZ government open all house and apartment to be sold to foreigners.
And in the past they make migrant easy to get PR, the result of those decision now is
+very high house price, high tax on food and petrol

A house far-far away from city area cost $300,000+
while my partner has a house that still nearby CBD area and only cost $100,000

------------------------------
Well, kerja di NZ kurang gitu enak dibanding Australia.
SOurce : https://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=12186606

biaya hidup relatif lebih tinggi, rent lebih tinggi, dan salary relatif lebih rendah dari Australia.
Kerja di NZ serasa lebih berat dari Australia, tapi gaji lebih rendah dan biaya hidup lebih tinggi.
Dan transportasi publik benar2 jelek sekali.
Auckland super city? rasanya gak gitu pantas dibilang super city, transportasinya tertinggal jauh 20-30 tahun dari tetangganya Australia.

Kayaknya abis visa kerja gw habis, gw mau ambil libur panjang aja.

Mau dapat residence visa lewat work visa?
SUdah gak mungkin, tingkat salary minimum untuk dapat PR naik lagi jadi 25$/hour untuk tier kerjaan 1-3
Sementara salary gw cuman 17$/hour ; padahal kerja udah capek banget.

Untuk kerjaan kantoran yang Tier 4-6 (IT), naik lagi jadi 35$/hour
Padahal untuk kantoran aja, rata2 gaji IT sekitar 22-25$/hour

BUkannya mau mengeluh, realistisnya banyak migrant yang realistis sekrang mereka kerja untuk cari duit saja karena sudah gak mungkin dapat PR di NZ karena standar gajinya dibikin lebih tinggi dari standard market bahkan untuk tempat kerja yang bagus.

---------------------------------------
IN 2016, the process to lodge partnership based by Lawful Permanent resident has changed.
Before, you can lodge partnership visa in consulate - and you have the same priority as US citizen.
Now, you need to send your application to Chicago - and each year you are given some quota on how many people can get the visa. this quota system is the reason why it took 2 years to be processed.

rigil

cerita ne berat yah...

Llybophi

menarique. nyimak kalau ada update baru. semoga ts mendapatkan kemudahan.


aku kaya komentator di Kaskus rasane ew.

Adrian69

> @raktom menulis:
> Well, untuk partnership visa untuk residence visa NZ.
> Gw juga masih bingung, beberapa minggu kedepan, gw bakal ngobrol ke lawyer.
>
> Peraturan untuk lodge visa NZ sekarang semua lewat online, lodge visa kerja bisa lodge sendiri.
> lodge visa partnership, bisa lodge sendiri, tinggal scan dokumen saja.
>
> ------------------
> Well, my partner is retirement, he choose not to work because he is financially able to not working for years.
> He told me that he will work as Uber driver and will give all of his asset information to US immigration when we get notification of Affordafit of Support.
>
> He told me that he will work as UBER for fun while waiting for me.
>
> ------------------------
> NZ has changed a lot in 20 years, the NZ government open all house and apartment to be sold to foreigners.
> And in the past they make migrant easy to get PR, the result of those decision now is
> +very high house price, high tax on food and petrol
>
> A house far-far away from city area cost $300,000+
> while my partner has a house that still nearby CBD area and only cost $100,000
>
> ------------------------------
> Well, kerja di NZ kurang gitu enak dibanding Australia.
> SOurce : https://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=12186606
>
> biaya hidup relatif lebih tinggi, rent lebih tinggi, dan salary relatif lebih rendah dari Australia.
> Kerja di NZ serasa lebih berat dari Australia, tapi gaji lebih rendah dan biaya hidup lebih tinggi.
> Dan transportasi publik benar2 jelek sekali.
> Auckland super city? rasanya gak gitu pantas dibilang super city, transportasinya tertinggal jauh 20-30 tahun dari tetangganya Australia.
>
> Kayaknya abis visa kerja gw habis, gw mau ambil libur panjang aja.
>
> Mau dapat residence visa lewat work visa?
> SUdah gak mungkin, tingkat salary minimum untuk dapat PR naik lagi jadi 25$/hour untuk tier kerjaan 1-3
> Sementara salary gw cuman 17$/hour ; padahal kerja udah capek banget.
>
> Untuk kerjaan kantoran yang Tier 4-6 (IT), naik lagi jadi 35$/hour
> Padahal untuk kantoran aja, rata2 gaji IT sekitar 22-25$/hour
>
> BUkannya mau mengeluh, realistisnya banyak migrant yang realistis sekrang mereka kerja untuk cari duit saja karena sudah gak mungkin dapat PR di NZ karena standar gajinya dibikin lebih tinggi dari standard market bahkan untuk tempat kerja yang bagus.
>
> ---------------------------------------
> IN 2016, the process to lodge partnership based by Lawful Permanent resident has changed.
> Before, you can lodge partnership visa in consulate - and you have the same priority as US citizen.
> Now, you need to send your application to Chicago - and each year you are given some quota on how many people can get the visa. this quota system is the reason why it took 2 years to be processed.
>
>

@raktom
Dude,

So sorry to hear that it's so hard for you. Looks like the rules are working against you.

Regarding your hubby - jauh2 dari NZ ke sini cuma buat jadi Uber Driver? Really??? Here we're not as accepting in foreigners competing with locals for easy money like that.
Then if he is already financially stable and do not have to work - why can't he support you for your US visa?
Sorry but I smell a rat here gurl.

Nggak akan pernah ada tempat kerja yang enak di mana2. Kamu harus membuat tempat kerja jadi sesuatu yang kamu suka.
Down under dan NZ lebih kayak old version of Europe tapi sepertinya sih masih bisa tolerable.
Kalau masih bisa dapet extension, I will suggest to stay there since it's safer and more accepting of LGBT.

raktom

Well, he told before that he was an IT project manager.

And he decide to retired 5 years ago in 2013 because he can.
He is trying to be close to his kids and families.
unfortunately, his familes and kids reject him for 5 years straight.

I dont know why, tapi dia emang kalau berantem suka keluar kata2 kasar.
tapi besoknya, biasa lagi.
Kadang gw ngerasa kalau relasi gw dan dia bisa dibilang ada emotional abuse.

gw gak tahu, apakah karena beda culture atau karena memang ada abuse.
Dia orangnya baik, perhatian.
Tapi gw gak suka dengan berantakan.
Gw berantakan, tapi dia benar2 di higher level of messiness.
He put things in my table, in my side of bed.

I understand that he wants to live in NZ for his retirement and has lot of stuffs from America,
tapi, itu bukan alasan untuk menjadi berantakan.

He told me that he has a house aset worth of $130,000
and deposit of $100,000 in USA
and he believes that that is enough for him to sponsor me.

He gives me 10,000NZ$ for me for flight.
he pay for the lodge of our partnership.

However, sometimes I wonder if we are actually having a genuine relationship.
because sometimes he told me that he only marry me to help me get PR and after I get my green card,
i should find someone else and be happy.

While, I am still grumpy of his attitude that can be crazy, he can be bad in word.
and sometimes I want to break up with him as I like being single but I want to try to get residence in USA as well.

Tapi, dia orangnya baik kok, mungkin kita berdua multi-faceted person.
we have so many aspect on us that make us in a gray area.

Adrian69

@raktom
:
> Well, he told before that he was an IT project manager. And he decide to retired 5 years ago in 2013 because he can.
> He is trying to be close to his kids and families. unfortunately, his familes and kids reject him for 5 years straight.
>
Kyaaa! Punya anak dan ex? This complicate things dude! Kalau ada apa2 sama dia, they're the legal beneficiary and you won't get nothing!!!

> I dont know why, tapi dia emang kalau berantem suka keluar kata2 kasar. tapi besoknya, biasa lagi.
> Kadang gw ngerasa kalau relasi gw dan dia bisa dibilang ada emotional abuse. gw gak tahu, apakah karena beda culture atau karena memang ada abuse.
> Dia orangnya baik, perhatian. Tapi gw gak suka dengan berantakan. Gw berantakan, tapi dia benar2 di higher level of messiness. He put things in my table, in my side of bed.
> I understand that he wants to live in NZ for his retirement and has lot of stuffs from America, tapi, itu bukan alasan untuk menjadi berantakan.
>
So sorry to hear that, tapi kan kalau berantem most likely bakal keluar kata2 kasar.
Asal jangan sampai dia include your immigration status atau ethnicity atau religion in the fight buat mengancam - it might be signs of abuse. Abuse happens regardless of culture.
Being messy is a person's habit (kebiasaan). Kamu nggak akan bisa mengubah his habit, only he can.

> He told me that he has a house aset worth of $130,000 and deposit of $100,000 in USA and he believes that that is enough for him to sponsor me.
> He gives me 10,000NZ$ for me for flight. he pay for the lodge of our partnership.
>
Well that house is small untuk ukuran US, dan dia harus menunjukkan punya steady income buat sponsoring.
Tapi like we discussed - as long as he is a green card holder dan you're legally married, dia bisa apply for your green card anytime, gak usah menunggu punya high paying job!
Paid for your flight where? From Indo to NZ? NZ to US?
All that he has given you should means nothing if he really loves and care about you.

> However, sometimes I wonder if we are actually having a genuine relationship.
because sometimes he told me that he only marry me to help me get PR and after I get my green card, i should find someone else and be happy.
>
Sorry Hon, that is NOT a relationship. Mungkin dia sympathize with you dan ingin membawa kamu keluar dari Indo, but clearly now he's not into you.

> While, I am still grumpy of his attitude that can be crazy, he can be bad in word. and sometimes I want to break up with him as I like being single but I want to try to get residence in USA as well.
>
What's wrong with living in NZ dan mencari other partner there? US immigration laws at the moment is very difficult, perhaps your best bet at the moment adalah mencari suami baru di NZ.

> Tapi, dia orangnya baik kok, mungkin kita berdua multi-faceted person. we have so many aspect on us that make us in a gray area.
>
Multi faceted atau bipolar?

raktom

Iyah, dia dulu nikah dan punya anak.
Sudah cerai sekh 18 tahun lalu.

When we fight, he is never down-value me.
Although, he knows that I was an escort, and thinking many times to go back being an escort again.
he never mention about my ethnicity, our my immigration status.

------

Although, my partner can be rude to every ethnicity and religion.
"Chinese and greedy are greedy fuckers, they dont know how to drive and how to behave"
"Those muslim girl use hijab and they are very fat and ugly, why do they need to cover them-self. they are fat and ugly, why even man want to rape them? Muslim men are nut if they want to rape these kind of girl"

------

Tapi, dia gak pernah singgung status gw sebagai ex- sex worker.
Dan bisa dibiang, kalau kita bertengkar, dia gak pernah singgung status imigrasi gw.
Dia cuman singgung tentang kemampuan bahasa inggris gw.
Dan gw kadang bingung kalau ngobrol sama dia.
emosinya kadang naik turunnya cepat banget.
Mood-nya bagus, dan tiba2 grumpy dan depressed.

--------

Well, we are legally marriage in NZ. he is NZ citizen; I am Indonesian citizen.
We submit our partnership form to USA last year, and today we finally get text from US Immigration
that they get our application but, we dont know if the application is accepted or not.

The process of immigration of USA is bit long and cumbersome.
After they accept our application,
my partner needs to give his financial statement that he is able to support me financially in USA.
Then, we will finally get interview with US senat in Jakarta, the interviewer will determine whether our relationship is genuine.

He gives me money but he have not decided what he wants to do with the money.
I am suggesting to put his money in Indonesian Deposito, which have higher interest rate.
He told me that it is Okay to use the money when we travel together.

However, I concern about this money.
He has lot of cash in his storage unit, New Zealand dollar and US$.
I dont know how he can have that much money in cash.

I believe he is a tax fraud, where he claim benefit from USA and NZ and keep they money by himself.
I dont know if this is correct, but I find it weird that someone has huge cash in storage unit.
Yet, in the same time, I dont mind much about that money.
Because I did some sort of tax fraud as well.
I did not tell honestly how much I earn when I was working in massage parlour

------------------------
Well, he told me that he does not mind if he spend his retirement in Bali with me.
But, he still wants me to work in Bali, not as an escort.
He is not chasing other people or having sex with other.

While, I hook up with random people when he is away.
Our sex life is not great, he needs pill and testosterone injection to stay hard.
However, he can be very accepting.
He still wants to see me and chat with me after I am honestly told him that I was an escort.
He is very accepting in some way.

---------------------

Well, I cannot find new husband in NZ.
MY husband introduce me as his boyfriend and husband to his friend and my community.

I find someone that seems interested to me, but he is my husband's friend and our friend in community.
And he prefer if I am not cheating my husband as he believe that marriage should be sacred and intimate.

And even if I get someone that want to marry me and want to sponsor me with partnership visa in NZ.
Divorce in NZ means you have to be separated with your partner for at least 2 years. then the court will make decision.
For example, my husband lodged divorce request to government at 1995.
The decision of divorce finally confirm in 2000.
Therefore, even if in the next 1-2 year; I find someone that interested to be with me.
I might be legally marriage to my husband, although we did not see each other and contact each other.

-------------------------------
I suspect that my husband has tendency of being a bi-polar he is easily change his mood.
While, I believe I have generalized anxiety disorder.

Karena kalau gw tiba2 anxious, panic attack gw lumayan parah.
Bisa tiba2 mau teriak2 dan marah2. gw bisa gak tidur beberapa hari.

Dan habit dia yang suka tiba2 gonta-ganti mood, bikin gw susah de-stress dari kerjaan.
Jadi performance kerja gw turun.

-----------------------------
Overall, gw gak tahu apa perasaan gw saat ini.
gw merasa bahagia karena gw akhirnya bisa nikah di gereja, dan merasakan bagaimana hidup dalam pernikahan.

Kadang gw merasa sedih karena kadang gw berharap gw bisa dapat pria yang lebih mapan, dan lebih baik.
Tapi, gw sadar. Klien yang berani bayar gw mahal, pada akhirnya adalah klien, mereka gak mau ngurus tetek bengek masalah gw. Sementara partner gw ingat semua masalah tetek-bengek gw.

Gw kadang merasa bahagia dan bersyukur, karena sekalipun gagal dapat ijin tinggal tetap di NZ atau Amerika.
Gw, secara finansial, lebih baik dari 5 tahun lalu.
Dan gw bersyukur, gw udah dapat booking banyak klien dan beberapa klien gw berbahaya
dan pernah dapat abuse dari klien sewaktu jadi sex worker.
Gw masih "sehat", masih negatif dari tes darah.

Bahkan sekalipun gw gagal dapat ijin tinggal tetap,
secara finansial, I am better than 5 years ago.
Dan keluarga gw juga lebih bagus secara finansial, keluarga gw akhirnya punya rumah.
Dan gw mungkin bisa hidup sederhana dari duit deposito.

Tapi, tetap gw tidak bisa menyembunyikan kalau gw kecewa sama husband gw,
kadang gw benci kenapa dia punya duit sebanyak itu, gak bayar conselor untuk masalah psikologisnya.
Kadang gw benci kenapa dia kikir sekali soal duit, padahal kita bisa sewa tempat yang lebih bagus.
Kadang gw benci, kenapa dia cepat sekali marah soal hal-hal kecil, dan tone-nya tinggi sekali.
Kadang gw benci, kenapa dia suka cepat ribut dengan orang2 sekitar.

Tapi, di saat bersamaan,
gw cukup ngerti, dia secara finansial. he is better off stay in America because he has house dan better off if he is retired in Philippine.
orang2 sekitar kita lumayan rasis karena beda umur kita beda jauh sekali. beda 39 tahun.
Beberapa orang benar-benar nyari2 kesalahan kita, dan langsung lapor ke landlord. dibilangnya bikin gaduh lah.
Bikin gak nyaman, padahal pernah beberapa hari kita gak berantem atau apa2. Tiba2 ada yang laporin kalau kita berantem.

Gw kayaknya mau nyoba nunggu keputusan green card based by partnership.
Kalau gagal, kayaknya bakalan nyoba asyluum di Canada, kayak Zulfikar Fahd.