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Coming out for his rights
Bruce Emond , The Jakarta Post , Jakarta | Fri, 03/27/2009 2:29 PM | People
(JP/Bruce Emond)
When he was an NGO worker involved in gender rights in farming communities, Hartoyo says he was greeted as a hero wherever he went. Today, in his more personal battle for gay rights in Indonesia, it's a much lonelier journey.
"Fighting for gay rights is so different from other humanitarian causes such as education or helping the poor, even sex workers," says the 33-year-old, known as Toyo. "If we are working for gay rights, we're considered somebody who is totally amoral. I'm not out to be a hero, but we are not even given respect as a person trying to achieve something."
He puts the stigma in blunt terms. "They think I am just fighting for penises and vaginas. That is the challenge for me."
The founder of One Voice, a group for empowering gay and bisexual men in Indonesia, is about to take another step in his journey. His autobiography Biarkan Aku Memilh: Pengakuan Seorang Gay (Let Me Choose: The Coming Out Declaration of a Gay Man) will be launched in Jakarta on April 17, followed by a speaking tour of several major cities.
He says he is ready for whatever reaction the book may get; it has several graphic passages about his sexual awakening and a harrowing description of his torture by police in Aceh. A slight, excitable man with a watchful gaze, he has been reviled on websites and received death threats by SMS. Although he sometimes wonders why gay rights is his calling, he has gone through too much to stop now, even if he is mostly going it alone.
While gay people in the West are demanding the right to civil unions, most Indonesian homosexuals are firmly in the closet, despite gay men becoming an increasingly visible part of the urban landscape of Jakarta and other major cities. In conformist, religious and family-oriented Indonesian society, a "don't ask, don't tell" policy still exists for what is considered a deviant lifestyle.
It's not just the general public that is dismissive of the concept of gay rights. Many men who have relations with other men (lesbians in patriarchal Indonesia face their own issues) are not interested in the politics of their sexuality. They are uneasy, even hostile toward gay men who come out publicly.
"They consider it wrong, that I'm strange for doing this," says Toyo, who adds that he does not blame them for their opinion. "They are part of a heterogenist society where they have been taught that being gay and their identity is just about sex. They're victims, too."
The youngest son from a large family of Javanese transmigrants, Toyo was raised in Binjai, North Sumatra. His father was a civil servant and his mother died when he was about two. It was a deeply religious community, and Toyo would study at a madrasah after regular school. He says he is a product of his Javanese ancestry and the more forthright approach of the local Batak people.
He knew early on that he was different. In his book, he tells of declaring to his friends in elementary school that he didn't like girls, which was met by a chorus of laughter.
His teenage years were marked by intense feelings of guilt about his homosexuality. It was only later, when working for an international NGO, that he developed a greater understanding of his identity. He describes an almost mystical experience when all of his repressed feelings and anger suddenly poured out during a meditation session. He read up on homosexuality from websites, and gradually began to come out to colleagues.
His tenuous reality of acceptance was shattered after he moved to Aceh to work in the field of women's and children's rights after the 2004 tsunami. On a January night in 2007, a group of people broke down the door of his rented room in Aceh, beat him and his boyfriend, ransacked his possessions and called the police.
He thought that he would be safe once in custody. Instead, for the next three hours, the two men, mainly Hartoyo, because he says he argued with the police, were subjected to abuse.
In a Jakarta coffee shop on a Saturday morning, a world away from Aceh where sharia law is practiced, Hartoyo takes a deep breath when asked to describe that experience. He says he still shudders when he hears a sudden knock on his door.
"We were treated like animals," he says of being stripped naked, forced to perform sex acts and being urinated upon.
The abuse (the two men were later forced to sign a "contract" stating they would not engage in homosexual relations again) was humilating enough. The reaction of others was also hurtful. Some said he should have known better than to have a homosexual relationship in Aceh of all places.
"I couldn't believe what I was hearing," he says indignantly. "Aceh is still part of Indonesia and the police are supposed to protect citizens ... torture is barred even under war conventions. But everybody was silent when my case came out. I felt it was as though the torture was acceptable because I'm gay."
He pursued his case against the police; when it finally came to trial in October 2008, four policemen were given suspended sentences and fined Rp 1,000 each, the same sentence that might be given for failing to wear a motorbike helmet on the road. He says he was shocked when the judge lectured him that the police had done the right thing in their treatment of him, thereby preventing another tsunami hitting Aceh.
"I was the accused, not the victim," he says.
If anything, such treatment has emboldened him. He denounced the media frenzy last year surrounding serial killer Ryan, which painted homosexuals as jealous, possessive characters with psychopathic tendencies. He plans to send his book to President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and the Aceh Police chief, among others, in the hope that his case may be reopened.
He wants gay people living in remote corners of the country to read his story and know they are not alone. He also hopes that one day at least one respected Indonesian public figure will be brave enough to come out.
"I've chosen to publicize my experiences and campaign about this, and that means I'm ready for the consequences of my choices," he says. "Let others disagree with my position, as long as they don't use violence or don't try to force what they want on others. If they don't agree, then let's engage in dialogue. We're still a democratic country."
Biarkan Aku Memilih, co-written by Titiana Adinda, is published by PT Elex Media Komputindo
http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2009/03/27/hartoyo-coming-out-his-rights.html
(JP/Bruce Emond)
When he was an NGO worker involved in gender rights in farming communities, Hartoyo says he was greeted as a hero wherever he went. Today, in his more personal battle for gay rights in Indonesia, it's a much lonelier journey.
"Fighting for gay rights is so different from other humanitarian causes such as education or helping the poor, even sex workers," says the 33-year-old, known as Toyo. "If we are working for gay rights, we're considered somebody who is totally amoral. I'm not out to be a hero, but we are not even given respect as a person trying to achieve something."
He puts the stigma in blunt terms. "They think I am just fighting for penises and vaginas. That is the challenge for me."
The founder of One Voice, a group for empowering gay and bisexual men in Indonesia, is about to take another step in his journey. His autobiography Biarkan Aku Memilh: Pengakuan Seorang Gay (Let Me Choose: The Coming Out Declaration of a Gay Man) will be launched in Jakarta on April 17, followed by a speaking tour of several major cities.
He says he is ready for whatever reaction the book may get; it has several graphic passages about his sexual awakening and a harrowing description of his torture by police in Aceh. A slight, excitable man with a watchful gaze, he has been reviled on websites and received death threats by SMS. Although he sometimes wonders why gay rights is his calling, he has gone through too much to stop now, even if he is mostly going it alone.
While gay people in the West are demanding the right to civil unions, most Indonesian homosexuals are firmly in the closet, despite gay men becoming an increasingly visible part of the urban landscape of Jakarta and other major cities. In conformist, religious and family-oriented Indonesian society, a "don't ask, don't tell" policy still exists for what is considered a deviant lifestyle.
It's not just the general public that is dismissive of the concept of gay rights. Many men who have relations with other men (lesbians in patriarchal Indonesia face their own issues) are not interested in the politics of their sexuality. They are uneasy, even hostile toward gay men who come out publicly.
"They consider it wrong, that I'm strange for doing this," says Toyo, who adds that he does not blame them for their opinion. "They are part of a heterogenist society where they have been taught that being gay and their identity is just about sex. They're victims, too."
The youngest son from a large family of Javanese transmigrants, Toyo was raised in Binjai, North Sumatra. His father was a civil servant and his mother died when he was about two. It was a deeply religious community, and Toyo would study at a madrasah after regular school. He says he is a product of his Javanese ancestry and the more forthright approach of the local Batak people.
He knew early on that he was different. In his book, he tells of declaring to his friends in elementary school that he didn't like girls, which was met by a chorus of laughter.
His teenage years were marked by intense feelings of guilt about his homosexuality. It was only later, when working for an international NGO, that he developed a greater understanding of his identity. He describes an almost mystical experience when all of his repressed feelings and anger suddenly poured out during a meditation session. He read up on homosexuality from websites, and gradually began to come out to colleagues.
His tenuous reality of acceptance was shattered after he moved to Aceh to work in the field of women's and children's rights after the 2004 tsunami. On a January night in 2007, a group of people broke down the door of his rented room in Aceh, beat him and his boyfriend, ransacked his possessions and called the police.
He thought that he would be safe once in custody. Instead, for the next three hours, the two men, mainly Hartoyo, because he says he argued with the police, were subjected to abuse.
In a Jakarta coffee shop on a Saturday morning, a world away from Aceh where sharia law is practiced, Hartoyo takes a deep breath when asked to describe that experience. He says he still shudders when he hears a sudden knock on his door.
"We were treated like animals," he says of being stripped naked, forced to perform sex acts and being urinated upon.
The abuse (the two men were later forced to sign a "contract" stating they would not engage in homosexual relations again) was humilating enough. The reaction of others was also hurtful. Some said he should have known better than to have a homosexual relationship in Aceh of all places.
"I couldn't believe what I was hearing," he says indignantly. "Aceh is still part of Indonesia and the police are supposed to protect citizens ... torture is barred even under war conventions. But everybody was silent when my case came out. I felt it was as though the torture was acceptable because I'm gay."
He pursued his case against the police; when it finally came to trial in October 2008, four policemen were given suspended sentences and fined Rp 1,000 each, the same sentence that might be given for failing to wear a motorbike helmet on the road. He says he was shocked when the judge lectured him that the police had done the right thing in their treatment of him, thereby preventing another tsunami hitting Aceh.
"I was the accused, not the victim," he says.
If anything, such treatment has emboldened him. He denounced the media frenzy last year surrounding serial killer Ryan, which painted homosexuals as jealous, possessive characters with psychopathic tendencies. He plans to send his book to President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and the Aceh Police chief, among others, in the hope that his case may be reopened.
He wants gay people living in remote corners of the country to read his story and know they are not alone. He also hopes that one day at least one respected Indonesian public figure will be brave enough to come out.
"I've chosen to publicize my experiences and campaign about this, and that means I'm ready for the consequences of my choices," he says. "Let others disagree with my position, as long as they don't use violence or don't try to force what they want on others. If they don't agree, then let's engage in dialogue. We're still a democratic country."
Biarkan Aku Memilih, co-written by Titiana Adinda, is published by PT Elex Media Komputindo
http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2009/03/27/hartoyo-coming-out-his-rights.html
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Comments
Judul Buku : Biarkan Aku Memilih; Pengakuan Jujur Seorang Gay yang Coming Out
Penulis : Hartoyo dan Titiana Adinda
Halaman : 134 halaman + xxx
Penerbit : Elex Media Komputindo (Gramedia Group)
Terbit : Februari 2009
Oleh
Murizal Hamzah
Tujuh polisi menghajar dua pemuda tanpa ampun. Belum puas, anggota Polisi Sektor Banda Raya, Banda Aceh, memaksa pemuda itu mencopot semua baju dan celana. Seorang polisi menodongkan senjata laras panjang ke anus pemuda itu. Kemudian seorang pemuda dipaksa memegang penis rekannya hingga ereksi. Tiga puluh menit kemudian, pukul 02.00 WIB, mereka digiring ke halaman Markas Polisi Sektor (Mapolsek) dengan berjongkok. Lalu dimandikan dengan selang air. Ketika seorang pemuda ingin buang air kecil, polisi meminta dia untuk kencing di atas kepala rekannya. “Proses itu berlangsung selama 15 menit. Aku sangat marah, tapi tidak bisa mampu berbuat apa-apa,” tulis Hartoyo dalam buku bersampul putih ini. (hlm. 84-85).
Apa kesalahan dua pemuda itu? Dalam buku inilah Toyo--panggilan akrab Hartoyo-- memaparkan secara ringkas kisah dirinya, seorang gay yang tinggal di negeri syariat. Tragedi penyiksaan ini diawali pada malam 23 Januari 2007 di Banda Aceh. Kala itu, pria dari Binjai Sumatera Utara ini sedang asyik memadu kasih di kosnya dengan pasangannya Bobby (nama samaran), warga Aceh. Warga menangkap mereka di lantai dua Kedai Kopi Pesona di Lamlagang Banda Aceh.
Dalam sekejap, pukulan bertubi-tubi mendarat di sekujur tubuh gay ini. Mereka dianggap telah mencemarkan desa tersebut. Kemudian, warga bingung, mau dibawa ke mana dua gay ini? Jika diusung ke Kantor Waliyatul Hisbah alias polisi syariat--lembaga ini hanya ada di Aceh--warga khawatir esok nama desa ini masuk koran dan ini sama artinya mendatangkan aib. Akhirnya, polisi dipanggil untuk menjemput Toyo dan Bobby.
“Gay” Sejak SD
Di lembaga pengayom masyarakat inilah, dua gay itu kembali disiksa. Esok paginya, mereka dibebaskan setelah penggiat kemanusiaan datang. Seminggu kemudian, setelah didukung oleh berbagai lembaga pembela HAM, perempuan di Jakarta dan Aceh, Toyo yang bekerja di Lembaga Swadaya Masyarakat (LSM) di Banda Aceh pascatsunami 2005 ini melapor balik kekerasan yang dilakukan oleh polisi. Setahun kemudian, Pengadilan Negeri Banda Aceh pada 8 Oktober 2008 melakukan persidangan dengan empat terdakwa anggota polisi. Vonis hakim, pelaku dihukum tiga bulan penjara dengan masa percobaan enam bulan serta denda Rp 1.000. Pelaku tidak harus menjalani hukuman di penjara karena dihukum percobaan.
Dari kasus ini juga, Toyo memahami ada teman-temannya di lembaga kemanusiaan yang tetap mendukung dia atau menceramahinya. Padahal, sebagai lembaga kemanusiaan, mereka harus menghargai berbagai perbedaan, termasuk memilih menjadi gay. Karena itu, dia mempertanyakan lembaga-lembaga kemanusiaan di Aceh yang mengesampingkan isu penyiksaan dirinya karena berkaitan dengan seksualitas. Apakah seorang gay tidak layak untuk hidup aman di bumi Serambi Mekah?
Tak diragukan lagi, Toyo merupakan gay sejati. Sejak kecil hingga kini, dia senang dengan laki-laki. Masa kecil dilalui dengan sukacita sekaligus pada masa itu juga dia merasakan diri sebagai gay. Ketika kelas 5 SD, dia menawarkan saudaranya untuk dipijit. Toyo kecil tidak paham, mengapa dirinya senang mengamati pria bugil. Hingga jari Toyo pun meremas-reman penis saudaranya, menciumnya. Anehnya, saudaranya, membiarkan aksi itu. Sejak itulah, rasa suka dengan laki-laki terus dirasakan dan semakin besar (hlm 8).
Inspirasi bagi Keluarga
Menyimak lembaran demi lembaran, termasuk empat halaman berwarna foto Toyo di berbagai daerah, pembaca diberi kebebasan untuk memahami cara pikir dan bertindak seorang gay. Dalam pengantar penulis, secara terus terang pengalaman ini disampaikan bukan untuk mencari “pembenaran” dan meminta belas kasihan orang. Apalagi mengajak orang lain memilih menjadi gay.
Penulis mengakui, buku yang mengisahkan pengalaman hidup seorang gay dari sisi kemanusiaan selama ini belum banyak diterbitkan. Toyo menuturkan, menjadi gay adalah sebuah pilihan kejujuran hidup. “Buku ini menjadi inspirasi bagi keluarga yang mulai tahu bahwa ada anggota keluarganya yang menjadi bagian kelompok lesbian, gay, biseksual, transgender, interseks, dan quee (LGBTIQ). Bagaimana bersikap manusiawi terhadap anggota keluarga,” tulis Toyo yang menghabiskan masa kuliah selama lima tahun di Universitas Syiah Kuala Banda Aceh.
Sejatinya, buku ini layak dibaca oleh siapa saja yang ingin mengetahui dunia gay, termasuk juga di Aceh yang membentuk komunitas sendiri. Yang sangat menakutkan bagi seorang homeseksual adalah keluar dari persembunyian dan memproklamasikan kepada publik bahwa dirinya adalah gay. Dalam hal ini, Toyo telah memperlihatkan diri bahwa Indonesia tidak hanya memiliki keragaman suku bangsa, agama, budaya, tapi juga keragaman seksual. Dan tentu saja, semua orang bisa tinggal di seluruh pelosok Bumi Ibu Pertiwi ini.
http://www.sinarharapan.co.id/berita/0903/28/opi05.html
dulu aku juga sempat liat thread tentang kasus mas toyo itu
tapi baru sekarang aku baca dengan teliti
FYI, aku juga tinggal di aceh
bedanya aku emang dilahirkan dan tumbuh dewasa disini
selama ini aku tentu saja lebih memilih discreet
meskipun keluarga dan juga beberapa teman aku tau tentang ketidaknormalan aku
sebenarnya ngga ada salahnya sih jadi gay di aceh selama kita ngga macem-macem
jujur, aku juga pernah macem-macem sama temen cowo aku
cuma ngga sampai ketauan
untuk mas toyo yang jadi permasalahan adalah ketauan berduaan dengan sesama jenis itu tadi
mungkin itu yang membuat masyarakat setempat ngamuk sampe muncullah kasus seperti itu tadi
salut deh buat mas toyo yang dengan begitu berani menyuarakan suara hatinya....
Karena aku juga gak mau kejadian itu, tapi itu kenyataannya.
salam
Toyo
Duhh sedih bacanya...emang dulu pernah baca pengalamanny tp gag taw kalo itu toyo.....
Apa yg terjadi sama heaven berbeda bgt.. Smua uwda tau kalo heaven gay,,,tp biasa aja..gag ada perlakuan 'spesial' yg heaven terima...
Bahkan sohib karib heaven yang cowo2 straight smua (heaven gag pernah nulis 'cowo normal' dlm membedakan orientasi sex.)
Smangaat yah toyo....
setidaknya saya akan berusaha supaya tidak macem2 disini, mas..
salam juga
Define 'tidak macem2'.
Is kissing, making out and having sex with your own boyfriend, at the privacy of ur own house can be define as 'macem2'? If so..well, living there must be quite similar with living in Iraq, Afganistan or one of those awful places . I'd be getting the hell out of there if I were u !
Hidup dalam rasa takut dan tidak sama bebasnya dengan kelompok lain. tapi masih dibilang bahwa tidak masalah.
Nikah ama cewek yang sebenarnya tidak diinginkan. Tapi masih juga bahwa itu tidak masalah. Padahal setelah menikah masih keluyuran dengan cowok yang lainnya. Tanpa ada rasa bersalah dengan istri dan anak nya. Tapi giliran mau diperjuangkan kok malah dibilang gak ada masalah.
Aduh, aku cuma kasihan saja. Sampai kapan ya kita paham atas hak hidup asar kita sebagai manusia. Mungkin memang benar - benar butuh proses panjang sekali ya.
Kali ini aku setuju dengan mu rectory, kamu memang lebih beruntung karena kamu bisa hidup di negeri yang lebih maju HAM individunya.
Kadang aku kalau lelah dan capek Rectory, aku pernah berpikir untuk tinggalin Indonesia saja kali. Sekolah dan cari beasiswa dan kemudian kerja di LSM International di LN. Berjuang di International saja. Mungkin lebih mudah kali ya, hehehehe. Karena aku lebih mudah mendapatkan akses beasiswa kalau di LSM.
Atau Rectory aku gak mau mikir lagi dengan isu - isu homoseksual. Mending mikirin persoalan petani dan nelayan saja yang miskin di pulau - pulau miskin. Karena memang aku pengalaman untuk kerja dengan orang miskin. Tapi teman - teman aktivis lainnya selalu memberikan semangat untuk aku fokus dengan gerakan homoseksual.
Kadang capek dan frustasi juga kalau misalnya gerakan homoseksual gak jalan - jalan atau lambat sekali. Apalagi kalau justru serangan itu datang dari kelompok kita sendiri.
Aduh aku kok jadi curhat nih, Rectory. tapi biarlah agar teman - teman tahu. bagaimana berat nya aku memilih isu gerakan gay ini.
salam
Toyo
Salam
Toyo
of course not
what u have mentioned was not included as 'macem2'
until it's known by people
that's what i'm trying to prevent
as for leaving my place
i think it's impossible for me at this moment
coz i dont even finish my high school yet
this is my last year
i dont think it's important for me to go
people are different
u know
and i'm kind of, say conservative side
the right wings
that's what my background is
i shoul live with it
and i will...
Then why don't u? Indonesia's great for 1-2 weeks holiday, but IMHO it'd be nightmare to live there.
Atau Rectory aku gak mau mikir lagi dengan isu - isu homoseksual. adang capek dan frustasi juga kalau misalnya gerakan homoseksual gak jalan - jalan atau lambat sekali. Apalagi kalau justru serangan itu datang dari kelompok kita sendiri.
Proven by some members here.
Aduh aku kok jadi curhat nih, Rectory. tapi biarlah agar teman - teman tahu. bagaimana berat nya aku memilih isu gerakan gay ini.
Wish U good luck.
Salam
Toyo
[/quote]
Jangan terlalu di-press lah orang-orang macam afkaristan ini, yang punya mental dhimmi, dan meng-claim diri "conservative gay" (dengan segala bla bla cuih cuihnya).
Emang sih kedengarannya rada munak tulisan2 dia (mau ktl tapi sok malu2 kucing). Tapi harap maklum lah, kan masih denial.
....
Saya sangat setuju dengan yang ini mas Toyo
afkar, gw gak bermaksud menjudge, cuman hati2 kalo menggunakan istilah,
left wing identik dengan socialist, communist,
sementara right wing identik dengan conservative dan republikan, dimana salah satu item dalam platform mereka adalah anti homosexualitas, mereka menganggap homoseksualitas adalah ancaman bagi masyarakat dan penyakit menular sehingga harus dihindari
but, it's how the fact is...
iya ngerti, cuman mau ngingetin, mending dijelasin biasa aja biar tidak berbelit2 sehingga semua orang paham