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Selamat datang di situs Boyzforum yang diarsipkan oleh Queer Indonesia Archive. Forum untuk komunitas gay Indonesia yang populer ini didirikan pada tahun 2003, dan ditutup pada tanggal 15 Desember 2020.
Forum ini diabadikan untuk kepentingan sejarah. Tidak akan ada konten baru di forum ini. Silakan menikmati forum ini sebagai potongan dari sejarah queer Indonesia.
Forum ini diabadikan untuk kepentingan sejarah. Tidak akan ada konten baru di forum ini. Silakan menikmati forum ini sebagai potongan dari sejarah queer Indonesia.
Bagaimana sih cara tahu aku Gay pa ga?
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Comments
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panasaran amat de ..... ngantreeee sanaaaaaaaa ......
(gw ngantre d loket sana ajah ahhh....d sini takut kena topan..........xixxixixiixix)
ntar elu (malah) ketagian lage ...... hehehehehe
ga ahhh loket sana sepertinya lebih menarik..
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ngga nyuru .....
(wekssssssssssssss................xixiixixiixiiix)
Determining your sexual orientation can be a confusing experience. However, only you can know whether you identify as a gay person. It may take years, or your view may even change over time, but remember that however you identify, you are a valuable human being. Take your time, discover who you are, and discover whether you fit the sexual identity of being gay or lesbian, turn out to be bisexual, or discover that you are, indeed, straight after all. You may pass on to the next step of accepting that you are gay, and eventually to coming out of the closet and to having a successful gay or lesbian relationship.
In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or pansexual.
Steps
1. Be clear on the definition of Gay; there are many different considerations on the subject, depending on who you talk to, but be honest with yourself as to what defines being gay to you. The debate on the subject is often referred to as the "nature versus nurture" conundrum.
* Some people believe that anyone and everyone has the potential to have at least one sexual or romantic relationship with someone of the same sex.
* Some people believe that homosexuality is biological or genetic; that you are naturally born gay. Some scientific studies support the idea of homosexuality as a genetic identity; others may agree that you might be born gay, but it is the act of having a Gay or Lesbian relationship that makes you gay. Still others believe that homosexuality is a product of one's environment and the experiences of your life, that is to say, that events in one's life contribute to your sexual orientation.
* Some believe that simply fantasising about sex with a member of the same sex is proof that you are gay; and others believe that it is just a sign that you may have leanings in that direction.
2. Understand that fantasising about members of the same sex does not necessarily mean you are gay. Straight people can have the occasional "same sex fantasy"; a woman having a strange dream involving a lesbian experience, or a man wondering about what it feels like to snog that tough-looking guy in the men's changing rooms - but just fantasising or daydreaming this way does not mean that they would jump on the chance when actually given the opportunity to do so.
3. Understand that if you have had a same sex sexual encounter, it does not mean that you are now exclusively gay. Many people who later identify as gay have had heterosexual encounters, many quite satisfying. Having one experience does not qualify as a lifetime orientation. If you've had an encounter with someone of your own sex and feel anxious or unsettled about it, you may not be gay after all. If, on the other hand, you enjoyed an experience with the same sex and after thoughtfully considering it, you may realise that you would seek out another same sex relationship.
4. Realise that there are many different paths to discovering your sexuality. Some people may have known that they were different the mainstream from a young age, others take time to discover their true nature, perhaps even realising it only in later life.
5. Understand that sexuality is a very complex issue. There is room for every degree of sexuality: some will be exclusively straight or gay, and never consider having sex outside their normal orientation. Some lesbians occasionally seek out male partners, and some gay men seek out females. There are many degrees of sexual orientation, and if you find you don't fit easily into one category, perhaps you are bisexual. Don't allow yourself to be labelled until or unless you are ready and willing to be.
6. Do not attempt to undermine anyone's realisation of their sexuality. Coming to terms with one's sexual orientation is often difficult and complicated. Respect the privacy of individuals you know who may be struggling to come out, and by the same token, if you are the one struggling, don't go broadcasting your struggle to the world unless you want everyone you know to weigh in with their opinions and advice, which is usually not helpful and only clouds the issue. Confide in a friend you trust, and discuss your feelings and desires with him or her, and not the rest of the world.
7. Think about your past romantic experiences with the other sex. How did you feel when that guy kissed you? Were there fireworks when you made out with that one spectacular girl? Who did you have crushes on? What kinds of fantasies did you have? What do you feel comfortable with and enjoy doing? Try looking at "sexy" pictures of both the opposite gender and your own; study them, and decide what you find attractive, and what turns you on.
8. Examine your recent behaviour with your friends and acquaintances. If you're a girl trying to decide whether or not you are a lesbian, has there been a close friend you felt extra possessive, or protective of? One that you wanted to be your 'best friend forever' - and you insisted that you were her 'best friend forever', too? Did you just want to be her best friend took it a little too far? Guys, if you go for the tackle on the same friend at every practice, consider whether or not you're also trying to make it to the locker room at the same time. Are you more than passingly interested in him? Do you try to get a look at his body, get excited thinking about him taking off his shirt? Think about the way you're feeling, and really examine and analyse what it means.
9. Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight people in the community from a variety of backgrounds who have been in your situation. Your parents, friends, teachers and other people in your life can be very supportive, if you feel comfortable talking about this with them. Talking to friends and family members if and when you are ready, and when you feel comfortable and safe can be a great help. Many people who you might think would not be very supportive might be very understanding.
Tips
* Just because people who are conventionally sexy don't turn you on doesn't mean you do not like that gender. Maybe you prefer a skinny build to an athletic build, or small-breasted women? Try imagining doing sexual things with people of the same or opposite sex (not necessarily someone you actually know). Ask yourself what you find attractive, and what turns you on.
* Search online for stories of people who are bisexual, gay, or lesbian. Compare them to your own story. Online resources can be a great source of information and online message boards can be very useful in connecting you with other questioning people, like planetout.com and the Gay Youth Corner. Seek out gay people or others who are questioning and talk to them. You can attend anonymous support groups in your community.
* Remember that there's nothing that qualifies you or anything else for a particular sexual orientation other than being attracted to people of a certain gender. Also remember that Pride parades are not necessarily representative of everyday life for most gay people, any more than a Halloween party is representative of life for people in general.
* If you're uncertain or fearful about what it would be like to be a member of a sexual minority, the best way to deal with that is to meet people who are in that minority. You'll probably find that most of them seem about as normal as anyone else.
* Just because someone is attracted to some people of a particular gender, doesn't mean they're attracted to everyone of that gender, and not everyone of a particular sexual orientation is going to be attracted to you. Most people in most everyday circumstances are being friendly or professional, not sexual.
* If you don't want to, you don't have to label yourself at all. You like who you like, and leave it at that. You can tell people that, and it's polite for them not to read too much into it. It may help to think of sexual orientation as a spectrum, or to think of yourself as loving people, not just their gender.
Warnings
* Don't start sleeping around - with either sex. Some people who begin to realise that they may be gay or lesbian try to sleep with a lot of girls or guys who are attractive to them. Part of the reason a person will do this is to prove to him or herself that he or she is or isn't gay, or to prove to themselves that they are open-minded and willing to have sexual experiences with both sexes. This harms a person in many ways, because it cheapens the sexual experience and because it does nothing to accomplish the original purpose. One would be much better off trying to push for a kiss with a person of the same sex rather than having easy sex with a bunch of members of the opposite sex. Once the gender barrier is broken the first time, it's a lot easier to tell if you are actually gay.
* Practise safe sex at all times, unless you are in a long-term relationship with someone you love.] The conflicting and confusing emotions that may accompany the realisation that you are gay can make it difficult to act rationally when presented with your first same sex experience. Take care of yourself, and try to not be intoxicated when your are exploring your sexuality.
* Do not hide from your potentially negative feelings about your sexual orientation in drugs or alcohol. Substance abuse will only make accepting yourself more difficult than it may already be.
* Choose your friends wisely; you don't have to befriend other gay people simply because you have just discovered that you are gay yourself. Seek out caring, supportive, level headed people within the community who share your interests.
* Do not shut out the straight world or your straight friends. Sexual orientation is not the most important thing about a person. It is healthy to develop and maintain relationships with a diverse group of people.
taken from http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-You-Are-Gay