Thank You

Daninugraha20

this is a story about a boy.

boy lived his life, missing that thing people call love. he resorted in the most hopeless place one could think to find love, as he didn't not know where he should start. he did his search at that place though, only to no avail. he was about to give up. until one day, boy found a photo. this photo was different, it was nothing like other he had found in that hopeless pit. one last shot before i finally end this search, boy said to himself.

so boy said hi to him. he responded. not knowing what to do next, boy tried to make awkward conversations with him. he kept up with boy's awkwardness and they had a lovely virtual conversations. against his logic, boy opened up to him. something boy had never done so quickly before. the conversations lasted for hours, days even, interrupted only by life's trivial things. they fill each other's loneliness. that's why the conversation kept going.

they shared stories, telling each other's life and a series of harmless flirts along the way. for 3 days, they couldnt get enough of each other. boy was a fool, he thought 3 days was enough time for love to grow. heedlessly, boy told him that boy had fallen for him and asked whether they could take whatever going on between them to another level. he said he didn't know and he thought they need to take things down a notch. awkwardnes aside, they continued their chat, only now they both knew they had feelings toward each other. boy found nothing alarming, and fell even deeper for him. too fast boy.

on the eight day, he told what boy had been waiting for. he wanted boy to occupy the vacantness in his heart. this was beyond boy's wildest imagination. he never thought he would actually find love from a hopeless place. so they became a couple, although they've never even met each other. boy did meet him eventually though, in a most unlikely place for a first date. too bad they only talked for an hour, not knowing their first tryst was also going to be the last time they would meet with love sparkling from each other's eyes.

in a short time, boy's life filled with love and a power larger than life. boy made stupid anniversary cards, birthday cards, and many other surprises as a sign of his love. boy himself couldnt explain from where he get the idea for those cards, and other crazy stupid love kinda thing he made. they even talked about their future home location for pete's sake. easy there, boy.

unfortunately boy's days of love didnt last for long, as they started to grow apart. both being busy with their life. but boy struggled to keep the romance alive, too afraid of losing grip of his first love perhaps. boy shouldve known that it takes two to tango. boy shouldve known that if he did love boy, he would also tried to not losing grip too no matter how busy he was. boy had it enough, he tried to not contacting him, to test whether he would be looking for boy. hard as it was for boy, he did able to curb his longing for him. sadly the longing only occur to boy, as he didnt seem to bother looking for boy, the person he asked himself to fill the hole in his heart. eventually though, boy yielded. his longing triumphed over his ego. boy contacted him after 4 days of silence, wanting to clear things up. but instead boy got an answer he couldnt have possibly imagined before. he said he's not ready for a relationship. boy was shocked, he was confused. this came from the same person who said he needed boy by his side 1.5 month before. but boy couldnt do nothing, because boy didnt want to be the only one who dance in this dance of love. so they became what they first started of.

boy still tried to wrap things around his head. questions started coming at boy from all sides, ringing in boy's ears .how what so beautifully started ended up so quickly, boy asked. regardless, boy tried to keep their promise on being friends, yet he constantly gave boy the cold shoulders whenever boy contact him, as if he's trying to completely drive boy away from his life.

with that in mind, boy tried to move on with his life too, so boy decided to unfollow his twitter. boy thought seeing him appear on his timeline every now and then would make it even harder for boy to forget him.

days passed, boy painfully moved on, and left alone with questions. one day, boy opened his twitter to check how he's been. whether the action was taken as a desperete attempt to find the truth, or pure longing, boy couldnt tell. but what boy found out was the harshest truth. he had found another love. how could this be, boy thought. only mere days after the sprout of love they once promised to nurture together being taken from its roots on the ground. then it dawned to the boy. how he neglected boy, how they grew apart, his sudden change of heart, all the cold shoulder he gave to boy. he had betrayed boy. he had found a lover who can be by his side physically, not virtually like the boy. that's why he wanted what he and boy used to have to over instantly. he gallantly paraded his words of love for his new lover to the world, something he had never done when he was with boy. perhaps his love for the lover was so much that he couldnt contain it and he had to let the world know.

boy was over himself, the pain inflicted to boy was unbearable. confused, recklessly boy launched a series of passive aggression toward the man who once held the key to boy's heart. he asked for explanation, closure even. but boy's cries fell into deaf ears. he had move on with his new lover, with his life, leaving boy behind.

at the end, the only thing boy could do was to take matter into his own hands and give himself a self-closure. that's why boy wrote this letter. this is his personal closure before boy bury his past in the ground and leave it behind. letting out all his feelings would help him, at least that's what the internet told him.

thank you for teaching me what it feels like to be embraced by love, and most importantly thank you giving me one of the most valuable lesson in my life.

TL;DR Kenalan di BF-chatting intens seminggu-jadian 1.5 bulan-putus :P

jerk_am

nice story, even sound sadly