Seroconcordant vs Serodiscordant Relationships

twinkylittle

Loveblue

I was wondering whether ... they're still shagging .... or not.

dota

paan yak?

Ascareus

Gak ada penjelasan padahal mungkin menarik.

ron89

Jadi belajar istilah baru hmm.

seroconcordant (adj): Of a couple with both partners either HIV positive or HIV negative.

antonym: serodiscordant.

Yg kebayang sih bakal byk isu ttg sejauh mana kedua pasangan nyaman berhubungan seksual. tapi ga tw juga ding.

Loveblue

What would you do if you had a partner like one , Ron @ron89 ? Let's say you were deeply in love with this one guy , had been going steady with him for five years and he was fed up with this secret lie. Suddenly, he had to concede the fact that he was in serodiscordant relationship (Hiv positive) and told it to you. What would your reaction be?

ron89

I wouldn't kid myself. Honestly, it would be too hard for me. Living a gay life in itself had already been tough at start, lebih2 d tambah beban itu. If there was ever a chance to bail out from the relationship, I'd be the first to jump the ship.

I respect the honesty, but the waiting period to tell me couldn't be justified. Either he is a manipulative person to be able to find excuses *lots of them* for not doing penetrative sex or an egoist to risk my health whenever we french kissed or else. If I were to choose, I'd rather say "sorry, we couldn't be together anymore, its just too much for me"

Ever heard of javanese sayings "bibit bobot bebet"? unless I suddenly go mad *madly in love it is* I'd based my judgement on choosing a lifetime partner upon that. So to prevent this kind of scenario at first.

Lagian, kalo pun d terusin gw bakal selalu kepikiran. Kepikiran d tinggal mati duluan, kepikiran musti ngerawat, kepikiran musti cari duit lebih bwt pengobatan... Gw bkan jake gyllenhaal yg bisa ngerawat anna hathaway sampe tua...

How 'bout you bro? @loveblue

hakenun

D kepala kalian ada modus bilingual, kaya tombol on of gitu ga si? Jd sambil ngomong kalian nekan2 tombol ini, dan bahasanya gonta-ganti seketika
.
*nevermind, just wandering, skip it*

Loveblue

Haha. Si hakenun ada ada aja ini imajinasinya.

Waduh. Ditanya balik. I actually am not very good at answering questions comparing to you @ron89 . But let me try to put my 2 cents worth in. I myself personally would forgive at first for he had hidden this lie for such a long time . Everyone makes mistakes and so do i. Thus, i must learn to forgive. For me , forgiveness is one key to alleviate a pang of sadness that i had after conceding the fact that i was in serodiscordant relationship. I would ask him why he had to keep this secret lie for 5 years and confessed it all of a sudden. Did he want to test my loyalty or what. But that depends on that person as well, Ron. I mean, if he was only to test my loyalty (accepted him flaws and all), had never shagged me (which was very okay for me), had given positive impacts for me, i would willingly accompany him till death do us part. If God says to me 'Nothing can make Me love you less' , i would say exactly the same thing to him. Nothing can make me love him less. He made confession, at least he was truthful at the end. I appreciated the fact that he wanted to be honest. (forget about the lie and see the positivity, he tried to be honest) BUT! BUT BUT BUT another 'research' should be scrutinized. if he was too whiny, had no spirit to strive for the best in his life, or even tried to intentionally share 'his baby' together , indubitably, okay Ron, i would directly show him the way out of this heart. Everyone deserves a second chance, yes i concur but being moronic is not my cup of tea.

Anyway, Ron, who takes you for English? That is dang outstandingly good.

ron89

as always, what a wisely constructed answer hha. ^:)^

But then again, people tend to go feelings over logic yaa, even for me... huhu. Kalo udah keluar puppy eyes gitu, mana bisa gw nolak. hha.

Maksudnya ngajarin ng-inggris ya bro? uhm, MC, Boyz II Men, Emma Stone, Glee, etc. are all my teachers

Errr bro, how old are you if i may ask? Gw takut salah titel panggilan...

@loveblue

greensun2

@loveblue based on what you wrote. i think you are tooooooo kind and tooooooo faithful. i believe that's not a bad thing but that's not always good for you. i must agree with @ron89 in some ways that if your partner still making love with you when he already know that he is HIV positive, or even french kiss you without hesitate, i may say that he's not care about you. it's okay if the affair was done before he met you. and he is already change. but if he is come to you and tell you that he is infected with HIV after having some affair behind your back..i think it's just because of he is too scared of dying alone.
but but but yes we can still forgive him completely..

greensun2

btw, i'm sorry if my english is too bad..

Ascareus

So, now i get the point. Kalau aku di posisi kasus ini (cem detektif kindaichi yak) pilihanku yah aku berharap aku tegar dan kuat menerimanya. Bagaimanapun aku (penganut aliran monogamis) berharap sangat utk bisa tetap stay dengan dia. Kasus ini menjadi moment yg baik menaikkan level cintaku yg dari eros ke platonic. Yg tadinya nafsu berubah menjadi rasa sayang yg tidak lagi bervariabel. Dunia ini sudah banyak kulihat bukti cinta platonic dari pasangan hetero. Dan kupikir, gay juga seharusnya bisa menciptakan serupa.
Masalah seks emang nature kita sebagai hewan. Tapi, sebagaimana kita hewan yg berbeda, pasti ada solusi yg menjembatani ini. Ketika porsi cinta eros tadi tergantikan menjadi platonic, maka seks bukan menjadi masalah lagi. Seks bisa membuat hidup lebih hidup, tapi kelak tanpanya juga hidup ini belum tentu tidak berkualitas. Dan kupikir paradigma yg sama juga terjadi pd pacar kita. Dia sudah tahu kapasitasnya harus bagaimana.
Ha...ha...kadang suka iri lihat pasangan hetero yg satu tubuh menjalani hidup sulit mereka. Dan, jiwa penantang ini pun tergerak untuk kelak dapat membuktikan hal yg sama...

Ascareus

Dan masalah dia kena hiv gara2 selingkuh waktu kita pacaran mungkin aku harus belajar dulu ke ibuku yah. Ayahku yg doyan selingkuh, abusif, dan sangat menyepelekan ibuku, hingga saat ini ibuku masih tetap mencintai dan mengurus beliau. Ketika dia selalu ditanya kenapa tetap mau sama ayahku, dia menjawab tetap berpaku pada risalah Kristen yg dianutnya. Ha..ha...kupikir hal yg sama bisa diterapkan dalam hubungan gay ini walau hasilnya mungkin mendekati nihil yah! Ah...ok i think my mom is supermom while i amn't her superson. What a pity.

ron89

So sorry to hear about your abusive father bro asca.

Good point there. Its also a dream of mine to have those level of affections toward someone. But hell are we a daydreamer in this material world ya. When you put it that way, it sounds so f-ing unreal. For me to have those kind of affections, the receiver should also be worthy of it. And an honest one would be preferrable as a start. Cheating is absolutely intollerable for me personally. So I stand my ground on this case.

And for your mom. Give her my utmost respect ya. Rather than saying its evidence of how magnificent her love to ur Father is, itd be more appropriate to highlight her admirable faith and believe to God. Her love to her family goes beyond this mortal world. Its the definition of platonic love itself.

Loveblue

Iya bener, maksudnya itu. Wah keren donk otodidak. Im always taken aback by your English and the way you deliver your ideas to certain topics.

Waduh ditanya umur. 88 ditambah 15 ditambah 98. udah ketemu hasilnya? Dikurangin 115 , dikurangin lagi 58. Udah ketemu hasilnya? Lalu tambahkan 7. Ketemu lagi hasilnya? Terakhir, kurangkan 11. Haha. Im assuming you are the same age as i am, @ron89 . No worries, Ron. People whom i don't know in real life tend to call me 'om' as i look older than i am ,according to their eyes. (which i cordially loathe) But hey, this is cyber world. So it's not a big deal.


Don't be @greensun2 . we're not judging whether your English is good or bad. At least you're trying to implement what you've learned. Everything is a part of learning, so chill.


It's been a long time i didn't see Asca giving his opinions. Keluar lagi deh bahasa pinternya ala ala Asca. Hehe. God bless your mother, Ascareus. She can be an embodiment for every tortured mothers.


This is getting a little bit broader since i didn't drag this case into cheating. As the foregoing opinion given by greensun2 , it's still okay if he did it long time ago before i had this relationship. But if he did it while he was going steady with me, i would definitely dump him. He might be on the rebound and crestfallen but that's the lesson he should take. Cheating is a big deal in relationship (for me) . Still forgiven but even to have a relationship rerun is not a chance. (evidently a different case when i got married with that person. No matter what happens, only death do us part)